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| For Miranda Evangelene Cole, February 5, 2011, to February 8, 2011 |
Aside from the glow of my laptop, Miranda's candle is the only light on in my house right now. The music I use to get me through times like this is playing softly through the stereo. These songs have been my lifeline in dark times. These songs speak to me in ways books and the consoling words of a loving community just can't. The music often carries the emotion that mere words struggle to convey.
It's a playlist that too me a long time to assemble. Adding one song at a time as its impact unfolded in my life. I want to share this list of songs with you. You may not like any of them, and that's ok, but they have helped me to just deal with life, too many times to count, and I would hope and pray that they might help someone else, too.
God is God, Steven Curtis Chapman
Blessings, Laura Story
I Can Only Imagine, MercyMe
By Your Side, Tenth Avenue North
Healing Begins, Tenth Avenue North
Homesick, MercyMe
The Hurt & The Healer, MercyMe
Finally Home, MercyMe
In Christ Alone, Owl City
Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus), Chris Rice
I'll Fly Away, Jars of Clay
This is by no means a comprehensive list of songs which speak of grief, loss, the questions that come them, and the hope we have in Christ. I know there are hundreds of songs, if not thousands, that could be included. These are just the ones that have helped me the most over the past year and a half. They speak to the grief and pain of today...but, more importantly, they speak to the joy of that which is yet to come, the Hope of The Resurrection.
Tonight, my candle burns bright for my lil' Shrimp, Miranda Evangelene, and for all those who have lost an infant. We are not alone...their memories will burn in our hearts forever.
Chad, I know most of those songs and have found them very peace-bringing. There is another song I have found that says everything my heart needed to have said. It is "I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song)" by Selah. It was written when Todd, who sings in Selah, and Angie Smith's daughter was diagnosed in-utero with a defect that would only give her family moments, maybe hours, with her after birth. Knowing they would bury their daughter and that she would never come home, they wrote a song for her funeral...something that would be her legacy.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I heard that song, I was still coming to terms with my first lost pregnancy. Today it is even more special to me. You see, last night I had an ultrasound of my 9 week old baby and she no longer has a heartbeat. To lose a second baby almost 5 years to the day I lost my first, I am in deep pain. But when I listen to the second verse, it does grant me a measure of peace. Maybe it will for you as well.
I Will Carry You (Audrey's Song)
There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?
People say that I am brave but I’m not
Truth is I’m barely hanging on
But there’s a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
I will praise the One Who’s chosen me
To carry you
Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says…
I’ve shown her photographs of time beginning Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
I will praise the One Who’s chosen Me
To carry you
Amy,
DeleteI'm sorry for your loss, that's heartbreaking news. :(
I'm thankful The Father has blessed you with a meaningful song to help you through this time. The lyrics are beautiful. I'll look it up and listen to as soon as I get a chance.
Chad