Jamaica Me Crazy

I'm struggling with a great disappointment this morning. :(

I recently started drinking coffee. I'm 40 years old and had never picked up this controversial habit until I went on my first long motorcycle adventure in May 2011. The weather during the first 10 days of my ride was miserable. It rained...a lot...it was not warm. Every time I stopped for gas, I'd get a cup of the easiest hot beverage available...coffee. It's been over a year and a half and I don't consider myself an addict...yet. I was mostly a drive-thru coffee man until I bought a Keurig brewer a couple months ago. I enjoy a cup or two of coffee each day and I make tea and hot chocolate almost as frequently as, or maybe even more than, I do coffee.

I don't know if it's because of my age or because this is all still so new, but I'm really in an experimental stage when it comes to this beverage. I know that I like my coffee with cream (I'm using coconut milk or soy milk...I love cream, or half and half, but I have the aforementioned on hand more often) and sugar...lots of cream and sugar. When I would drive through Tim Horton's, they called it a 4 and 4. I also know that I don't like dark bold coffee. Starbucks, which many people love, tastes burnt to me. It's too bitter, too strong. Some might label me a coffee wuss. We can take the issue up in a dark alley sometime.

Several weeks ago I ordered a sample pack of flavored coffees from Amazon.com. Trying a new flavor each day has been delightful. I've have warmed my taste buds with exotic flavors like Southern Pecan, Gingerbread, Cinnamon Roll, Mocha Nut Fudge, and Mountain Blueberry.  However, last week I stumbled onto a flavor that I knew I needed more of...ASAP...Wolfgang Puck's Jamaica Me Crazy. After my first cup, I got online and ordered four packs of this wonderfully aromatic beverage base from Amazon.com.

My box of Jamaica Me Crazy was on my doorstep when I returned home last night. I set it aside, unopened, promising myself that the morning would be special. Mere moments after I awoke this morning, I excitedly opened the box, fingers trembling, longing for the scent of coconut infused joy to permeate my household. I couldn't wait to pop a K-Cup into the brewer; drinking in the experience of the sight and sound of that addictive dark liquid filling my cup.

I open the first box and recoiled in horror! These are not K-Cups! These are individual "coffee pods"...I search the outside of the box with my eyes, hoping to find an answer for my panic! Compatible with the BUNN brewing system! WHAT?! How could this happen?! How could I have ordered the wrong thing?!

I open a package and hold the flat, circular pod in the palm of my hand. So foreign...so alien...so unwelcome...so unwanted. What to do? I grab my previously unused reusable brewing cup out of the cupboard and stuff the pod into it. This will surely be the easiest solution. The machine kicks to life and I wait. The first drops start pouring into the cup...clear. After a few seconds a pale amber tint joins the party. I feel like Tom Hanks, stranded on a dessert island and I look around for the nearest volleyball. My senses go into overdrive, trying to sniff in as much of that wonderful scent as I can from this pale concoction drizzling into my cup. As the last drops of liquid fall from the brewer, I pop the brewing cup from the machine, take the pod out of the brewing cup and put it gently into my coffee cup. If you can brew tea this way, why not a cup of coffee....

....bugger. It's just not the same.

I decide to try a second cup, this time stabbing at the pod with a sharp knife and spilling the dark grounds directly into the brewing cup. The result is better but not perfect...and I have to clean the brewing cup out. I can't help but feel cheated. If I had wanted to play barista, I would have gotten a job at Starbucks or Tim Hortons. This is my home, this is supposed to be easy, this is supposed to be convenient! My day is ruined. First world problems. smh. :(