Worn

"The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God." Psalm 51:17

It's not often that a song brings tears to my face these days...no more than a dozen times a week, I suspect....OK, it may not be that often, but it does happen, and it's been happening every time I hear Tenth Avenue North sing Worn.




Worn

I'm tired 
I'm worn 
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I've made mistakes 
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

I know I need 
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too week
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn even before the day begins
I'm worn I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn so heaven so come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though I'm worn 
Yeah I'm worn

by Tenth Avenue North
Songwriters: Jason Ingram, Mike Donehey, and Jeff Owen

...and I'm already crying...I can't even listen to the song and write this without feeling it deep down in my broken soul.

I'm taking a stand...to be weak...to be broken...because I can't do this life on my own.

I'm worn...I don't have the strength. I don't have the strength to get up in the morning. I don't have the strength to go to class or write my papers or do my reading. I don't have the strength to look at Facebook every day and see all my peers posting pictures of their happy families. I don't have the strength to look at Facebook every day and see all my peers complaining about their families and wishing I could do that, too. I don't have the strength to crawl out of bed on Sunday morning and go sit in church and listen to Pastor Mark tell me about the God who loves me. I don't have the strength to clean my house or wash my laundry. I don't have the strength to cry another tear.

I don't have the strength to take my next breath.

Instead, I have Him. I have the God who gives me strength. I have the God who picks me up and carries me through all of these things. I have the God in whom redemption wins. I have the God in whom the struggle ends. I have the God who can mend a heart that's frail and worn. I have the God who will not reject a broken and repentant heart.

What do you have? Who do you have?

Is it time to look our brothers and sisters in Christ in the eye and just admit we can't do this? Is it time to stop putting on fake smiles and pretending to be strong when we see each other at church and on the street? Is it time to fall into each others arms, cry our broken tears, and carry each other to the only one who can give us strength? Is it time to admit that fighting the good fight is simply waving the white flag?

Some of you may have already figured this out. Some of you may have learned this a long time ago.

Some of you might be like me and have to be reminded...every single day...that I just can't do this, but I know who can.

Abba, I lay my brokenness, the ashes of my broken life, before you. I lie at your feet and need to feel your cloak of comfort cover me. Father, thank you for reminding me that you are my strength.