Come What May

I got to ride down to Indianapolis this week. One of my best friends works there...it's a bit of a commute from the Jackson area, a bit over 4 hours with a stop for Starbucks...and he invited me to ride down with him on Sunday and hang out for a couple days. It's a trip I might repeat in the future...when it's not so hot. During my visit, I saw on the news that they set the record for the most days over 90 in the Indianapolis area during the month of July...but this is neither here nor there. I had a great ride down with my friend, despite the heat, and we traversed some great blacktop as we took the backroads and two lane highways for most of our trip down.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to spend the whole week with him. I had to head back home today. As I was getting back onto I-69 North, watching Indianapolis fade into the background in my rearview mirror, a small voice in the back of my head said, "Don't forget to call Sara at your next stop to let her know what time you'll be home."

It took about 5 to 10 seconds for whatever cranial control center is responsible for managing all the various aspects of my life to come to a screeching halt in response to what had just happened...now all the little voices in my head start scrambling, trying to figure out how there's any part of me, even so small, that could have forgotten what happened 18 months ago.

"What?! What just happened?"

"Ummmmm...not sure...we seem to have misplaced some important information...we're trying to find the responsible party."

"No...seriously...have you been hiding under a rock somewhere for the past 18 months?!"

"Look, I don't know why we said that...it just came out. We're trying to figure out why."

While all the little versions of me that run my existence continued to scramble around inside my head trying to figure this all out, the duet of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Dr. Chase Meridian came up in the playlist I had chosen for the ride home.

Never knew I could feel like this

Like I've never seen the sky before

Want to vanish inside your kiss

Everyday I love you more and more

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings

Telling me to give you everything

Seasons may change winter to spring

But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may

I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace

Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide

Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side

Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide

But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may 

I will love you until my dying day

Oh come what may, come what may 

I will love you 

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...

Come what may, come what may 

I will love you until my dying day

Come What May is a beautiful duet from the movie Moulin Rouge...I listened to it three times in a row while all the mini-me's in my head continued flailing around. Sigh...I was blessed to have have that love for 15 years...

It's no secret I've been dating. Whether good or bad, it's been happening. I was even engaged at one point, which I now realize I shouldn't have been, but it happened. It ended...unpleasantly, as things like that often do when they end; there's always a lot of hurt on both sides. It's not easy...not just because of my loss, but because it's so different from what I remember from 17 years ago...and emotions and feelings, like the ones that overwhelm me when I hear a song like this, make it even more difficult.

As I continue to move on, trying to move forward, I'm realizing that life often offers few answers to the many questions it raises. My own list continues to grow.

Abba, I bring you my brokenness and place it at your feet. You know the questions of my heart. You know the longings and desires. I give them to you.