Friday, July 6, 2012

Simple complexity

"The issue then isn’t my beating myself up over all of the things I am not doing or the things I am doing poorly; the issue is my learning who this person is who God keeps insisting I already am...There is nothing we can do, and there is nothing we ever could have done, to earn God’s favor. We already have it...We cannot earn what we have always had. What we can do is trust that what God keeps insisting is true about us is actually true." Miscellaneous quotes from Velvet Elvis: Repainting The Christian Faith, by Rob Bell

"Only let us live up to what we have already attained." - Philippians 3:16

It already mine...it's already yours...

I have to be honest, I'm struggling with the concept/process of trusting God as opposed to pleasing God. Maybe struggling isn't the right word...maybe it's just about internalizing it, chewing it up, swallowing it down, digesting it, and letting it infuse into my being.  It's not that I don't believe it...it just feels so much the opposite of what I feel like I've been taught my whole life (whether that is indeed what I was taught or not.)

My inner voice keeps wanting to pipe up and say, "it's all about not doing bad things, punching that ticket to Heaven, avoiding Hell." Somewhere, in the back, there's a new voice...one that is quietly encouraging me to stop worrying so much about what I do and don't do, what I did and didn't do, and start LIVING up to what I have already attained. I have ALREADY attained Heaven. Am I listening to myself? I have ALREADY attained Heaven.

It's almost too complex to put into words...because it's so simple...which, I guess, makes sense...since it's complex to integrate into my core, too. I mean, after all, if I live up to what I've already attained, the inner voice will be satisfied, right? The difference will be...motivation?...inspiration?...reason?

I've lived a lot of my "avoiding" God, not running away...just avoiding, because I didn't think I could live up to His expectations...now I'm realizing the expectations I wasn't living up to were mine. I've avoided grace because I thought I couldn't be good enough to earn it...now, I'm finally realizing it can never be earned.

Abba, I bring you my brokenness. I ask that you help me internalize the reality that I already have what you've given me. That the joy over receiving this gift should drive the way I live, not worrying about earning something I can't earn.

2 comments:

  1. My simple complex question (-: would be... rather than the issue being who I really am, isn't the real issue who God really is? I have to admit I'm not a big Rob Bell fan but I do enjoy reading your blog. I think he focuses so much on a ME centered theology (i.e. who I am) rather than on who God is. Amazing Grace that saved a wretch like me... Not that God doesn't do these things, but when the focus is Christ Himself rather than the outcome, the rest will naturally follow. Oswald Chambers talks about that a lot. It's a subtle-obvious difference (in keeping with the whole simple complex theme).

    Anyway, I'm glad you're still writing. You certainly have a gift.

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    Replies
    1. Jenny,

      I've had the opposite experience in reading Rob's books. Admittedly, I've only read two and a half of them so far (Love Wins, Drops Like Stars, and I'm halfway through Velvet Elvis.) My take on what he writes is that the focus of modern faith is ME centered because we make up all sort of non-negotiable rules that define what a Christian is...we do this or that and we don't do this or that and those things WE do and don't do define us as Christians.

      As I've read his books, I feel challenged to stop building brick walls of "do and don't do," trying to box my faith in, and instead focus on immeasurable Grace of the Cross. I feel like the message I've taken away, to this point, is, "stop trying so hard." There's nothing I can do, or not do, to earn grace.

      I can certainly see where what he writes about could be considered a "me" based theology, but I think when he's talking about the do's and don't do's that most Christian incorporate into their lives it's in relation to changing the motivation behind what we do and don't do. Many Christians view their actions as the defining factor in attaining a ticket to Heaven. I feel like Rob's saying that the ticket's already been attained, through Grace; our motivation should be to bring Heaven here, bring it to those around us, with the way we live and love.

      Most of all, I feel like he writes and encourages dialogue between Christian, encourages us to wrestle with God, stretching our faith and tearing down the brick walls that box us in and keep others out.

      Chad

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