Trifecta...

Tonight's blog post is brought to you by not one, not two, but THREE great songs...

I tried something new today...and was very pleased with the results. Those of you familiar with iTunes may know it has the "Genius" function built into it. Genius can do several things. It can suggest songs you might like in the iTunes music store, based on songs in your library. It can also build a playlist for you, from the music in your library, based on one song. This second feature is what I tried. I built a playlist based on the song Why Should the Father Bother, by Petra. In addition to a few other great Petra tracks, it also pulled out some of the best from The Imperials, Keith Green, Larry Norman, Phil Keaggy, Steve Taylor, Margaret Becker, Michael W. Smith, and David Meece.

Saying that I was pleased with the results is actually a bit of an understatement. I liked the playlist so much I doubled the length of my walk out to 5 miles...and I'm glad I did, because it was the last 3 songs I heard that bring me to my keyboard: How Many Times (Seventy Times Seven) by White Heart; To Forgive, by Steve Taylor; Solomon's Shoes, by Margaret Becker.

I've recently become aware (in a very new and real way) that I need to work on forgiveness as part of my walk with Christ. I've been hanging on to hurt, sometimes for a long time, that simply steals my lunch (emotionally speaking...no one...and I repeat, no one, literally steals my lunch.) It's not healthy for me, it's not healthy for my relationships, and it's not what God wants for me. But it's hard...really hard. It doesn't make it any easier knowing that other people probably struggle with it as much as I do. Forgiveness is at the core of God's grace, and He wants us to experience it in such a way that we are compelled to offer it to those who hurt us.

I think part of what makes forgiveness so hard is that we're often trained, as growing Christians, to do it wrong. We're taught that forgiveness is forgetting about the wrong that was done to you. Letting it go. Getting over it. Moving on. Treating it as if it never happened. It's true that when it comes to our forgiveness, that's how God does it...He has to...it's what He does. However, we're not God. We're human. We're broken. When God offers His forgiveness He CAN forgive and forget...He's God. It doesn't happen like that for us. It's OK for us to admit, and acknowledge that we've been hurt. It's OK to have an emotional, feeling, response to that. It's OK to struggle with letting it go:

How many times,

Must I stand in the waves 

Of this crashing sea?

How many times,

Must I forgive all the hurt

That's been done to me?

Let the jury go, set the sinner free

Oh-oh-oh

Seventy times seven

When Peter asks Jesus about forgiveness, the answer is very telling about God's understanding of us...and how we have a hard time letting things, especially our pain and hurt, go. The great part about forgiveness is that Jesus offers us the lead, He's the role model, He stands there waiting to help us, if we'll let Him:

Follow his lead

Let the madness recede

When we shatter the cycle of pain

Oh, we will live to forgive

Come find release

Go make your peace

I saw a Man

With a hole in His hand

Who could offer the miracle cure

Oh, He said live, I forgive

(Oh, He said live, I forgive)

Jesus offers us a cure! He offers us healing, we just have to follow the prescription. It's important, as we move through the process of forgiveness (the cure) to realize that we may not see the results overnight. When was the last time you had to get a prescription for something and everything was all better after you took the first dose? Seriously, we have no problem understanding that it takes time for our bodies to heal, yet we rarely give our hearts the time they need. We fight healing. I fight healing.

The last song I heard didn't have much to do with forgiveness. It was a reminder though, a reminder that forgiveness can take time, and I really need to forgive myself more. I need to stop getting mad at myself when I forget and let some of that past hurt and pain steal my lunch:

Solomon was the wisest man 

But I guess not wise enough 

He forgot the Blesser 

When the blessing were too much 

Now I know I swing with Solomon 

Between the left and right 

How I wish that I could find a place 

Where I'd be satisfied 

(Don't wanna deny You, don't wanna turn from You) 

After all, Solomon was the wisest man in the Bible...but he still screwed up. He forgot. As I listened to that last song, especially after the message of the previous two, I could hear God whispering to me, "Son, listen, you've got to lighten up on yourself. Don't hold yourself to a higher standard than I do. It's ok, really. Just give it to me. I'll take care of it. Give yourself more time, let me do my thing."

Father, I come to you in brokenness. You now my heart, who I need to forgive. When anger and bitterness start to steal my lunch, please remind me about the holes in Jesus' hands. Help me offer those hurts and pains to Him, to you, and to continue down this path of forgiveness.