Zoe Jane

I took a road trip today (150 miles round trip counts as a road trip, right?) to share a good meal with an old friend I hadn't seen in a few months. The time on the road gave me a 3 hour window for listening to some of my favorite tunes. There was a time, not long ago when the radio in my car was always on talk radio...usually sports...or it wasn't on at all. That changed about a year a half ago. I got up one morning, left the house, and when I got in the car I turned the radio to a local Christian radio station. I haven't listened to talk radio more than a few times since then.

On my way home, somewhere around Ann Arbor, Zoe Jane came up in the playlist. It's a secular song...yes, I listen to secular music, too...by the group Staind. Theology aside, it's a song that touches me at my core. The writer shows a longing for a daughter he's not going to see often enough. I know that feeling. I understand that longing in a way even he probably doesn't.

I want to hold you,
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured.
I want to show you,
Show you all the things that this life has in store for you.
I'll always love you,
The way that a father should love his daughter.

The chorus takes me back to the night I held Miranda and said goodbye to her. So much brokenness, so much hurt, yet so much peace...I'm thankful for the 3 days I had with her, but all I wanted was to hold her forever, in that moment. Reflecting on this reminds me of how much the Father wants to do the same for me. He wants to hold me, protect me, show me the things that he has in store for me, and love me the way no earthly father can love his son.

Father's Day is coming...my second one without her. I do realize that where she's at is so much better than here, she's with The Father; but, the ache in my heart still cries out, "I want to hold you...I'll always love you, the way that a father should love his daughter."

God, thank you for the promise of your unfailing love. I offer my brokenness to you. I offer you the longing of my heart. May it be filled with your love.