Trust In Jesus/Who Am I?

I had the privilege of having lunch with a friend today. I love having lunch with friends. It's a great way to enjoy good conversation...mostly because it gives my mouth something to do when I'm trying to listen, thus I don't spend the who conversation interrupting my lunch mate. :) Just like most of my lunches with friends, today was a good day of catching up and finding out what God had been doing in each others lives. There's something refreshing about spending time with a fellow believer who is also experiencing new things in their faith that stretch them and help them grow.

I find that after something like this, I'm in an excellent frame of mind to have a song, or two, cause positive reflection and thought processes in my heart. Somewhere in between lunch and getting back to my apartment, God saw fit to provide me with the experience that I long for. I was tooling along in my car, listening to The Message, without really listening...when Trust In Jesus, by Third Day, came on. It's a song I've heard many times before, but not one that ever really caught my attention or made me think about my faith in a new way.

One of these days we all will stand in judgment for

Every single word that we have spoken

One of these days we all will stand before the Lord

Give a reason for everything we’ve done

And what I’ve done is

Trust in Jesus

My great Deliverer

My strong Defender

The Son of God

I trust in Jesus

Blessed Redeemer

My Lord forever

The Holy One, the Holy One

What are you going to do when your time has come

And your life is done and there’s nothing you can stand on

What will you have to say at the judgment throne

I already know the only thing that I can say I

There’s nothing I can do on my own to find forgiveness

It’s by His grace alone I trust in Jesus

Trust in Jesus

Do you believe we'll all stand in a final judgement? I do. I'm not 100% sure of what that scene will look like, but I know how I envisioned it for me. I can see me, standing before the throne, fumbling for words to explain why I've said the things I've said, why I've done the things I've done, and finding none. It's a depressing vision...however, based on some of the things I've been reading, the conversations I've been having, and some wise counsel I recently received, I heard this song in a whole new light. My vision has changed. Instead of standing there fumbling for words and explanations that will never come...I'm just standing there...and the judge is SMILING at me...SMILING with a loving, warm, tender smile. What I had previously envisioned as a place of condemnation and judgement is now a place of love and warm reception. And you know what...that's what it was supposed to look like from the beginning, I just never really understood it. The reason the judge is smiling is because all He sees...ALL...is Christ. He doesn't see my sin, my failings, my short comings, he just sees the one who died so that I might live!

While my brain and heart were digesting all of this, Who Am I, by Casting Crowns, started playing. Again, another song I've heard more times than I can count, but one that I hadn't yet listened to the real message.

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name

Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star

Would choose to light the way

For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

Vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours, I am Yours

Again, the effect of my recent readings, counsel, and conversations helped the message of this beautiful promise play out in a new way in my heart. How often do I downplay my significance to God? After all, there are nearly 7 billion people on the planet today. Those, plus all who have come before, add up to quite large number of people. How can I be special when I look at myself among those numbers? The truth is...God plays favorites...He's big enough, great enough, and strong enough to get away with it. Each and every one of us is His favorite! His heir! He loves me as if I was the only one! Isn't that what we all want? To feel that special? To feel loved in that way? I know I do.

Abba, I offer you my brokenness. I am humbled to know that you stand in my place, to know that you love me as if I was your only child.